April 26, 2013

Endings

Here we go again. It's late April, right around (exactly) the 26th, (exactly) 4 days from a full calendar year of knowing, having met, having spoken at broad length to that first night at Solas, the person I first dubbed lovingly Boy who at some point evolved into G. And now I'm "home" (LA) from an extended stay in New York, wherein I became a pivotal fixture of his house, a close friend with his cats, a deviant lover (I will not forget those instances) and a frozen entity of time, space and a love continuum. The shared time in New York unfolded into insurmountable magic, chemistry, life lesson, pushing and pulling, an abundance of bagels, lobster rolls in Red Hook inclusive of a shared roll on an industrial street, an insanely indescribable (angry) lobster grilled cheese at the Hudson Common (for the low, low price of $22 each, yessss), hipster theme, murder theme (no crimes committed, honestly! only thematic perpetual return of the idea), cupcakes, chocolate, Connect Four matches in sunglasses in a dark bar, a DUMBO excursion inclusive of dougnuts, inspirational post-it noting, and more, and more than I can emotionally recap at the moment. I'm now back in LA with a void, in a vacuum, closed up in a state once again of an Army of One. I suppose it's to say we broke up. If those words are applicable in any fashion to whatever it is we were calling ourselves, if anything at all.

Figuratively, or, and, I suppose literally...we stand facing each other peering over massive obstacles. I don't care to itemize these because many of them are sensitive, and personal. Several have not been spoken between us but exist known by us both. A number of them have been discussed, have been attempted to be conquered, yet have returned with perpetual vengeance. Oddly, the least of the obstacles is the 3,000 miles. Well, I suppose that in and of itself lends to a vast amount of my insecurities, insecurities which stand proud and tall in our path.

I spent much of Tuesday communicating with him about closure. We continued the topic on into Wednesday, wherein I mentioned probably disappearing from his sphere for a while (to protect myself.) (And him.) Yet, yesterday there was an insistent driving force to copy and paste many, many sentiments (more than I recall even unloading) from this diary, most if not all of which drove painful rusty razors (a repeated metaphor) into my heart...many from the year 2012 having met him that single soulful happenstance evening on April 30th, a night which could have quite frankly gone thousands of different ways, but went one way, which was along the lines of connecting two souls infinitely with nothing but room for heightened magic, increased chemistry. This seems so tragic, far and away more so than anything I've experienced thus far in my goings on. It is unjust, and is tantamount to lying to the world, really. We've discussed this over days. But G is different than I. He is a moment to moment being, a creature of happiness in his imminent reality. All of this of his nature has been a developed and organic experience for him following his break up with the aforementioned (long ago) Kate. He's so much healthier now, emotionally, and mentally. He isn't as personally challenged as he once was. As I remain, despite the textured happenings having surrounded me since long ago.

I confessed to him this, yesterday:
I don't know how I can not speak to you, although the suffering I'm undergoing is so current and at the edge of all of me. I think what I want to say to you this morning, what I want to express in a graceful form, is that I barely remember I time before I met you, which, to me, is a massive signifier of falling in line with someone so completely. Memories, yes, exist before you, but my mind rarely chooses to visit those, rather elects to recall ours together. I want you to know this, today, in your process of moving forward.

He replied (among many other things):
I can barely remember the time before you, too. It feels so distant. And irrelevant. I assure you I understand that sentiment 100%.
 
Yet today, we remain silent to one another. And I imagine this is how it should remain until recovery and healing takes proper place.
 
I went to my first Los Angeles writing workshop last night. I am meeting Mary tonight for Happy Hour. I am possibly seeing a movie with Noah tomorrow, and definitely meeting him for lunch and karaoke in Little Tokyo Sunday. I'm going to try to live now, here, where I'm physically located, all whilst loving G so tremendously from the very deepest place I've managed to find love, where he nestled into me and now resides: every breath of his, every instant where he balls up his fists and rubs his eyes (love), every twitch of his mouth, every shift of his arm to find me and bring me into him. I could run this on, and on, however with the fact that I'm trying to be sane somehow today, I must close for now. Here, this, is what he sent to me (word for word, copied and pasted precisely) inclusive of my incomplete bolded response, the other night...an inconclusive yet sentimental recall of instances that shaped us into one fantastic blend of beings from two.
 
Kristin & Greg: A Year in Fantastic Memories:
 
  1. First email exchange ever, surprisingly warm and communicative before we even met.
  2. First night meeting, magical in ways well expressed and obviously not necessary to explain.
  3. Our first time talking about tattoos.
  4. First night walking K to her home, bidding farewell, grabbing cab home.
  5. First followup email after that night. G: "we had so much to talk about" (shyly, hesitantly). K: "You bet we did!"
  6. Second 7-hour marathon night, shockingly good energies in Fish Bar, E. Village. First hand touching. First kiss.
  7. So many early mornings in Camp Gramercy, in K's bed, both of us needing to go to work but the conversation just never ending.
  8. So many late nights in Camp Gramercy, in K's bed, both of us needing to get to bed for work but the conversation just never ending.
  9. Sharing of music. And literature. And poetry in early days of Camp Gramercy.
  10. Hearing about this girls' crazy bike ride around Manhattan.
  11. The belief for the first X times of Gramercy visit that J. didn't exist, due to me just missing him every time.
  12. The first 20 times I faced the prospect of climbing 6 flights of stairs to reach that apartment!
  13. Our first email exchanges expressing mutual beliefs in grammar and punctuation, and mutual sensitivities in that regard.
  14. Every single impassioned 8,000 line email we ever exchanged, how we did so so soon, how for the first time ever I discovered someone who could match my own throughput, how blown the mind was.
  15. Second night at Lit Crawl, our growing affection a "secret", in group setting but K throwing warm private glances my way (with smiles). How much getting those warmed me.
  16. Same scene. Surprise text from K: "I'm glad you're here".--Brazen much?
  17. Early days walking 'round Gramercy Park. Stomping leaves. Grabbing trees. Seeing this silly and eccentric person in her moments like that.--I love that you return to this quirk of mine.
  18. Early day walking from Gramercy down to the E. River waterfront, first time I really opened up about my pains with my ex, Kristin offering amazing compassion, understanding, and support, well beyond anything I ever expected so soon with someone I barely knew.--That came so easily, G.
  19. K supporting me getting over my ex, telling me how strong she finally felt at the point in life when she met me, and how I would get there too. How much I admired what she was saying then.
  20. Me returning home from NJ, meeting K in Brooklyn for pizza at Lucali's. Lucali's being closed and massive rain drenching everything. Backup dinner at Luna Rossa. "First date". Picture of K with pizza box and plush dolphin I had acquired in NJ.
  21. Same night. Walking back down Court St. Realizing for the first time just how much this person makes me laugh.
  22. Our first visit to the Community Book Store. Kristin's shock and amazement. Acquisition of important parrot book. Value to me of making it my gift to her.
  23. Our first nights' stoop sitting, both on the Gramercy stoop and my own Brooklyn Heights stoop, in the nice spring summer weather, sitting endlessly being and talking and sharing.--These images are so vibrant and vivid to me...
  24. Our discussion, on one of those nights, on my stoop, about how much traffic lights weigh.
  25. Our discovery of mutually shared affection for friendly cursing.--"Shit. Shit. Shit." Walking in the frigid weather over Valentine's Weekend...
  26. The big event: Lit Crawl Brooklyn 2012. Seeing K in her Lit Crawl t-shirt. Admiring her beauty and smile.
  27. Running around Lit Crawl 2012, finally running into K at Last Exit. My one photo of her there. My happiness in sitting next to her, at the bar, for that hour.
  28. Our first time walking around the Barclays site and seeing K's office, something like 1 AM when the entire area was silent, seeing the passion in her.
  29. My "Hello Brooklyn" Barclays photoshop impression of K on the job.
  30. Early night on the roof of Camp Gramercy, laid down, stared up into the sky and shared a magical night.
  31. Us meeting our mutual friends *so* close to each other in Hell's Kitchen, but never quite integrating the night.--I talked at length of you to Jenny and Mary. I showed them the one photo I had of you at the time and Jenny smiled wide and exclaimed, "Kristi, he is cuuuuute!" (she calls me Kristi.)
  32. Our shared discovery of the rickety shutters part of the Gramercy Park wall.
  33. How many excessive and unnecessary laps we did around that park.
  34. Our meetings in Union Square. Sitting on the bench together at night. Getting bitten by mosquitos. Getting sprinkled absurdly, and not moving or caring one bit.--I recall a significantly funny mosquito conversation with you during mosquito season, maybe several.
  35. Our magical date at the Brooklyn Can Factory in industrial Brooklyn, watching outdoor movies, being mutually moved by one in particular.--"It's Such a Beautiful Day."
  36. The followup walk down to Smith St, meeting Adam in Sample, moving onto Camp, having great night with Adam and involuntarily watching Indiana Jones.
  37. Hearing stories of lobster and Rock Band in the Brooklyner. Just imagining the awesomeness she knew there.
  38. Meeting Matt, Libby, and Phil at Lit Crawl.
  39. Meeting Matt, Libby, and Phil again at Flatbush Farm. We and Phil them moving onto Woodland, across the street, where we sat outside in the back and ordered cheese and smelled the horrible reek of nearby garbage.
  40. Seeing "All My Sons" in the silly old theatre, our pre-show dinner in the French colonial-themed restaurant on the Hudson, how elegant Kristin looked in her dress that night, me meeting Nilla, our followup socializing with all the cast and crew in the local West Village bar nearby.--I have a major memory of you against a wall sharing friendly conversation with one of Nilla's friends while I spoke with others; we kept glancing at one another.
  41. Our most magical night meeting for karaoke, when I first discovered K's *beautiful* karaoke voice, us both in tremendous spirits, walking up through Union Square, "we can go anywhere you want" --> Empire State Building at 1 AM (VIP pass), K construction geeking out on the top, us pointing out our houses, grabbing each other for a passionate kiss right at closing time, moving down and over to a late-night diner, me having eggs and K nothing, getting to our respective homes absurdly late in the middle of a work week. Basically that entire 7 hours straight.
  42. Learning more than ever that night just what passion K had for her industry, for the feeling of accomplishment of what she did, and the sense of solidarity and camaraderie with all her peers. Admiring greatly the passion that was so clearly there.
  43. K helping me survive forced shots from my friend at a Gramercy bar before my birthday that almost had me puke, guiding me stumbling back home.
  44. K's admission of her love for Dirty Dancing.
  45. Us getting eaten by mosquitos in my apartment in the summer, me doing all I could to dutifully bat the suckers down. Hiding under the sheets to protect ourselves.
  46. K's first introduction to my two little girls.
  47. K's first walk from my apartment to Barclays: "that was so easy!".
  48. Every single Barclays construction photo and story she ever shared with me.
  49. My discovery of K's love for Kristin Hersh.
  50. My discovery that K has amazing cat shoes.
  51. Introduction to the "Get in my suitcase" song! On the subway we both took from Union Square to Brooklyn on a weekday. How silly and beautiful it all was.--And how endearing I found it that you found the lyrics to be slightly creepy.
  52. K insisting on getting me a birthday gift, because she loves them so much, and getting me a Phish DVD in spite of not having any time or knowing anything about which one would be right.
  53. The first time we ever shared a photo booth.--And how we organically transformed it into tradition.
  54. Kristin's one-time offhand comment on her life in the construction world: "There's no lady here!"
  55. Me calling her Kristin while everyone else calls her KB. And me eventually calling her K. And her calling me G. K & G.
  56. Sharing our mutual Thanksgivings together over phone, just as much as with the real-life people we were with.--Permitting my brother to Internet stalk you while texting you as such.
  57. Virtually meeting K's nieces and nephews.
  58. Learning what a mean game of Connect 4 she can unleash upon the kids. And her total lack of mercy.
  59. Seeing K (from afar) first show the true extent of her milk habit with her "kids" in Indiana.
  60. Realizing just what an incredibly sweet and nice and giving person this K was (and is).
  61. Realizing even when we were out of touch in Fall 2012 just how much of an impact this person had had on me, and how much value she had given to my life. Expressing as much in response to her LA email. Choosing to move in that direction with her then, to reach out, in spite of the whole idea being patently absurd.
  62. The first feedback I got from K on her first quick trip to the big unknown world that was LA, how mesmerized she was, how in love she was, what passion she felt.
  63. Seeing Once together. The crazy passion we felt. Crying during the show, loving it, holding hands intensely, the overall beauty and intensity of the entire thing.--To be followed nearly 5 months later by a very sad inevitable stage in our time together which would find me alone in a restaurant with "Falling Slowly" playing randomly overhead at restaurant.
  64. The random stumbling afterwards into a nearby parking lot that introduced the era of animal hats!
  65. Walking our newfound animal hats to a nearby Turkish restaurant, having tea, wearing animal hats.
  66. The animal hatty folllowup cab ride to Barfly, to meet your dear friend, under the holiday lights, the random man that complemented us on our animal hats.
  67. Not being FB connected for months and months, due to silly shyness on both our parts. Finally saying "I guess we should do this now".
  68. Redding up each other's Facebook like mad.
  69. Meeting K at her going away brunch at the Gramercy Park Hotel, sitting around with her friends (and meeting some), she sitting so close to me yet us still keeping "our thing" a secret, vainly.--Yes. Yes.
  70. K and I happening to run into each other outside the hotel before hand, just the two of us, instead of anyone else in the group: it was K and I that happened to run into each other first, and we then walked in together.
  71. Skee-ball with Matt & Libby at Roebling Inn. Every time. The sporting drama. The peaks and the valleys.
  72. Bodies in suitcases.
  73. "Do you want me to go get you a bagel?"--I bit you.
  74. Lots and lots of time for people who like cheese.
  75. Our first secret note sharing, where we discovered, among other things, what foods we did and didn't like.
  76. K deigning to write a poem about me, and what a big deal that was.
  77. The first time K declared she and Phoebe as "good friends".--She is a good friend.
  78. Our first effort to skee-ball at the place on E. 14th St, only to be foiled by an in-progress skee-ball tournament game by a professional skee-ball league.
  79. Our confused but determined effort to demolish each other at darts in a random Irish pub on 2nd Ave by Gramercy, with some dancing and singing to some of the songs, having that entire back area of the place entirely to ourselves.
  80. Making it to the IU game at Barclays, first time seeing Barclays, with K, seeing her beaming, getting the tour, seeing her feel up the walls.
  81. Us almost parting ways at the end of the night, on the Barclays plaza past midnight, us both being hurt for the silliest of reasons. K about to say "Okay, I'm hopping on the subway now...", but then....
  82. Me holding her, making amends, her falling back into me, us bonding again, me getting pictures of her owning that dark plaza, a beautiful picture of us, then our decision to grab a cab back to Manhattan and spend that night together, as we properly should have, the photos we took in the cab...
  83. Me secretly preparing my going-away gift to Kristin, finding paper to write the URL on, finding a box for it, figuring out how to deliver it so she'll have no idea what it is before getting on the plane.--"Is it a box of razor blades?"..."You got me."
  84. Likewise for my going-away mix, and how I was going to give it to her.--"You're gonna need some cash..."
  85. Walking from my apartment one bright morning, over to Tazza coffee, it being warm enough to sit outside on the table, us looking at each other with love,
  86. Us being in my bed one morning, as I read her aloud some of my favorite passages from David Foster Wallace.
  87. Our followup ride to the Google office, giving K the tour. Hearing her thoughts on the finishings. Having her now see my space.--Feeling special. Felt like a girlfriend that day.
  88. Our magical night of Madison Square Park / Eataly / New School / Deli of the Future / E. Village karaoke in the dark / LES drinks with K's friends.
  89. The acquisition of Date Scarf on that same night.
  90. Packing packing packing at Camp Gramercy. Helping K pack up her things.
  91. Our late-night milk-athon at at diner on 3rd Ave by Gramercy, the one where I finally saw Kristin in her prime and that put me into a severe milk coma.
  92. K discovering my susceptibility to tickle attacks.--Favorite of many favorite things.
  93. Obviously contributing to the contents deception of the journal box by writing all the things that weren't really in there.--All whilst Rob told a really mundane and slightly inappropriate (for the moment) story, unaware all the while.
  94. My only experiences with Dexter: on K's Gramercy couch in front of her huge TV, with J there too. Seeing how enraptured she was. Loving every moment.
  95. Shockingly good order-in pizza on one of the packing nights. Installing Instagram and breaking out the Instagram on that shit. Our first order-in night.
  96. Helping K emotionally through the distress of seeing her home for so many years finally dissolve, finally seeing her home start to move on.
  97. The first time we signed an email message with "Love,"
  98. The story of the exasperated movers wondering "WTF?!?"!" about the prospect of a 6th-floor walkup move.
  99. The morning it was time to leave. Me choosing to accompany her all the way to her gate. Us grabbing that cab outside Gramercy. And getting in.
  100. Getting to the terminal. Animal hats on. Me snapping photos of all of it.
  101. Us sitting on the chairs by the terminal wall, waiting for the moment she really had to go.
  102. The picture I captured of that moment that showed her looking at me with such love.
  103. Me declaring, just before she hopped on the plane, that I at that time wanted to think of her as my girlfriend.--Putting blazes in my heart.
  104. Me slipping her gift and her mix, with a wry smile.
  105. The incredible yet beautiful sadness that immediately hit us both as she got on her plane and I went my own way.
  106. The shared realization that that final NY experience, in December, was by far our best yet, taking it to another level, after we had already set the bar extremely high from previous encounters.
  107. The fact that that raising of the bar just kept on happening again and again and again, with every encounter we continued to have.
  108. My surprise Christmas gift to K: lakristin.com, Christmas version!
  109. Sharing with Kristin my Christmas experience with my mom and mom's bf in the NJ winter.
  110. Greg's LA trip #1: seeing K's LA apartment for the first time, having a car, stopping at In n' Out beforehand but getting her a milkshake, picking her up at the stadium, embracing there in the lot, every single thing that followed on that trip that I could easily branch out into 60 additional list items here, but I will just leave at this.
  111. Greg's blind bear hat assisted walk down K's apartment building hallway.--*Just* thought of it walking down my hallway yesterday, about how you nearly slapped on someone's apartment window...how I would respond quickly, "It's okay, he's not really a bear."
  112. All the bear hat love that permeated that entire trip.
  113. Doing a few rounds of bowling down K's apartment building hallway!
  114. The discovery of hamster tacos (and more broadly hamster cuisine).
  115. Greg's discovery that Kristin's LA rocks.
  116. Kristin's Valentine's trip to NYC. Having the most beautiful Valentine's Day I've ever had. Sharing this with her. Us choosing to share this together.
  117. Both of us having had the heart and will to push this further in spite of the incredible challenges of the massive distance and risk of emotional heartbreak.
  118. Every single time we ever laughed heartily together, on the street, with no one else having any idea what was getting us going so.
  119. This is just a placeholder for the 8,000 awesome parts of the Valentine's trip (I write this as I wear M&M pajama pants). It's almost a shame to limit it down to this sole single list point.
  120. Greg's LA weekend before going to San Francisco. Every single thing about it (what a parking spot! pizza tour, Fred, Sunset Blvd walk, finally getting into Dodgers, keeping a hard hat, and so on).
  121. LA public transportation really works!
  122. Greg in San Francisco / Mountain View, sharing everything with Kristin, us both feeling so close and so together even while in these different cities in California.
  123. FaceTiming K from my friend Greg's place in SF, bringing her virtually into their home with me.
  124. K's decision to spend a full week here in NYC again, with me.
  125. Greg's surprise decision to beat her to the punch in LA for the opening game.
  126. Every attempt I made to throw K off track about my LA intentions.
  127. The Niki & Greg conspiracy.--This is significantly impactful considering Niki not only saw me nearly entirely through my break up for almost a year but also went on to stalk every single boy I would randomly meet, you being the most prized that she stalked. :)
  128. Greg's LA friend Mark. Cowabunga.--His last name "Taylor" making Niki's new Internet stalking options extremely difficult. Mark Taylor texting me a random hello while watching Greg eat pizza in the Bronx here recently.
  129. The *astoundingly wonderful* feeling & embrace K and I gave each other upon the jig being up at Short Stop, me in my cap + glasses disguise, the joy we both felt at that moment.
  130. Another round of secret note sharing (where would you or wouldn't you live) in the endlessly weird El Coyote, over bad salsa and banana drinks.
  131. The surprise invention of the worldwide post-it tagging scene, which came out of that.
  132. Let's get a pin to accompany that fine bowling ball of K's.
  133. Every moment of that weekend, including the silly "conflict" that came from Greg's misinterpretation and sensitivity that K and G super-maturely resolved early in the morning before it was time to go. How impressed I was at how far we had gotten by that weekend.
  134. Our mutual sexual awakening, and every fantastic sexual moment we had, which only seemed to get better and better every time.--Every time.
  135. The unstoppable passion that has always been deeply embedded within K, that I felt right from the first moment of contact up until the very last time we locked eyes and embraced. How rare that is. And invaluable.
  136. Everything that was these past 9 days that K spent here in NYC this April. Some tough moments. Also some of the most magical moments we had ever had to date. Which, given everything else above, is saying something absolutely indescribable. Absolutely indescribable.--Heartbreaking, to let go.
  137. How...a choked sob filled my throat when G mentioned how I had become part of his household that week...how, I rarely am moved to feel that touched.
He ended it with this notion:
I'm sorry this is only 136 things. I didn't even try to expand our mutual trips, each of which is 3,000 in and of itself. There really are 20,000+ in total, but this is all I have the power to summon into email in a reasonable time span.

I don't know what else to say now but love. What we've pulled off together has been beyond amazing.
 
***I guess, in all, I'm just so blessed to have touched something so incredible like that, to know that it is in me to feel so unbelievably mutually, entirely, completely and amazingly in love. And so it goes. 

April 04, 2013

Notes

So I'm attempting a new feat: blogging from the iPhone 5.0! I don't normally type as inspiredly (a word?) when not hastily clacking on my laptop however it's a stunning LA early evening, and so I'm sitting outside to dine on an Umami Burger and enjoy some much-needed alone time. We kicked off the punch list program today, which found the Project Engineers running around with iPads entering punch list items. I'm secretly *extremely* enthused to be on Team Punch List because it will contribute a great résumé item to my ongoing career.

So. Greg. I wanted to post some notes in outline format to use for our later more intricate story. He doesn't realize it yet but I'm using this Nonfiction Writing Workshop at the end of April to better get a handle on how to pen our love story because frankly, it's beautiful, and desires to be told.

So here are some memories (I love him so)...

Dodger Dogs and Dodger beers
Fred 62 serious talk
"Dodger Keying" call which led swiftly into Greg being pointed into Co-Op Vintage by me wherein he happy accidentally found a vintage bowling pin to match my earlier acquired Topanga Canyon bowling ball (which he shoved at me enclosed in a brown paper shopping bag, ha!)
Less serious visit to Wacko/Le Luz de Jesus Gallery
Adventure on bus to find Milk, one of best ice cream shops in LA
Floats! And a snowcap cookie which led him to breathe powdered sugar all over me, then even when the cookie was near his mouth his breath was accidentally blowing it on me...ha!
Walk into the park, where we penned and deposited inspirational post it notes for the general public
Wait! El Coyote before that, for banana margaritas, beer and personal trivia games (wherein we overlapped with our responses a lot! Happy accident!) and nachos
The Grove
(Insert "Why is that bird so happy?!" before our bus to The Grove!)
Me carrying a bowling pin around all day looking like a special Ed case, ha (cradled it in one arm like a child!)
Dinner at El Chavo on Sunset

These are just a few...I'm missing him so much already and I literally just sent him back to NYC Sunday morning.

So. It's April, my birthday month, National Poetry Month, the month of my next trip to New York wherein I'll stay for like 10 days. I can't wait to see him again. His spirit and presence in my life AMAZES me.

More to follow.



April 03, 2013

Visits

I've collected far more photos and stories than I've had the capacity to share, clearly from my lack of visitation to this page. And the stories just continue to accumulate until I find myself with nowhere to stash them other than in my mind, that dark foggy zone of cluttered closet space. But these stories are there, scratched in bad handwriting on paper (figuratively) and awaiting to be told. And I post a photo above of Los Angeles sky as shot from Dodger Stadium one amazing February day in which my eyes could barely believe what they were seeing, the sky was so expansive and enormous. I would rather post so many other photos but for now, this will suffice. And for now, this post will collect a handful of things that have brought me to this elegant position I'm in today, or clumsy, depending on the moment.

Friday, March 29th of the Year of the Snake 2013 (*MY* year! Thanks, Chinese calendar!) Greg flew in to surprise me and to support me in my efforts to "open" Dodger Stadium...first game, exhibition, "The Freeway Series" between the Anaheim Angels and Dodgers. The story twists and turns down so many roads because for weeks I was led to believe I was hosting a "close friend" of his with a ticket, and a series of communication led me to believe *Greg himself* was actually coming here for this. But I couldn't get my hopes up too much, as I am very likely to do with just about anything.

So many days and roads later, Friday, March 29th arrived and Greg disappeared from radar and Niki started texting and G-chatting me like crazy. I was all...wait, Niki and I have barely spoken for months (just busy, both of us) so what was this weird ambush of communication? But nothing mathematically made sense, or rhythmically, or anythingly. And I wasn't overly concerned about meeting this "close friend" of Greg's - I just basically figured it would be some LA Dodger crazy fan, fine. I'll host that. That was my thought.

But then my office started clearing out early, like around 3 PM, and I stayed at my desk keeping the flow with Niki and it closed in on 4 and I was like, OK, I am OUT of here. Her inquiries about where I was going and when would I be meeting "Mark" became offish, like, Seriously Nik? I'm just meeting Greg's friend, no big deal, right?

Well. Turns out, in all of this, I had sent a giant email to Gale (and later forwarded to Nik) about my suspicions that Greg was coming. And Nik, out of sound good concern for my well being, sent him a Facebook message to basically be like...Ok, KB thinks you're coming, and if you're not, I want to help let her down easy so that she can enjoy her Dodger accomplishments. So that set forward in motion the conspiracy for her to distract me while he took a 5-hour flight to come attend my game with me, less than 2 days, what a fine person to do that.

I have so many more things to pen about the rare amount of awesome time we shared while he was in LA. *SO MANY.* But for now, I just wanted to post, to essentially hail to him for such a sweet, sweet, unbelievable gesture. Our world together changed this past weekend. We were slammed together harder than ever before. *AMAZING.* I love him. So very much.