Daze

The first gift I opened right after he opened Funko Morrissey...we share a brain, me and that guy

Yeah, how cute. He knows everything about me. Thanos is my Marvel boyfriend and I already have his Funko Pop from Avengers Infinity War and months ago R was like, Why do you have him? and I was like, because I crush hard on Thanos. R was like, Thanos is a villain. I was like, Yeah, I know.

I'm barely cohesive at the moment, so tired, have been napping off and on all day, Everyday is Like Sunday, but I have had the most amazing end of year with R, ever. Best birthday celebration of his as mentioned, and most impressive belated Christmas wherein we opened so many gifts that we got for each other (I'm not going to brag about all of them but he got me a triptych postcard of Dodger Stadium shot in 1989 - he knows Dodger Stadium is my most favorite stadium - AND THAT I WORKED ON UPGRADES THERE!) and he got me this Sleater-Kinney book about the album Dig Me Out and he got me other stuff, too, but all I really want to say is opening gifts that we wanted to gift each other was like being in a different universe. A better one. 

I cooked for him. It was *not* my best foot forward. It has been a long time and cooking is NOT like riding a bike...you kind of lose your momentum. I'll gain it back, I'm not concerned. 

We did crossword puzzles together - can I say? Love energy? I don't know why couples would go to such extensive lengths to impress one another if all you required was something pajama-clad and cuddling and infusing as such a thing as a crossword puzzle.

So we did that. "Your handwriting is so nice."

We listened to music (as we always do) and ate cheese later after dinner (as we always do) and re-started our London LEGO set as we considered either we were tipsy or too distracted on our first date to have started it correctly, so now it is on its rebound and ready to go.

Saturday morning, he slept for a lifetime. I was up by like 8:30 and wandered around the apartment staring at things that needed attention but kept also watching his sleeping corpse, because it was so cute and I longed for him to wake and kiss me and all of that stuff but he was blissfully asleep.

I showered and went to therapy and came back and he was cozy on the couch with crosswords again. Here is my world: R, manila folder, stacks of printed New York Times crossword puzzles, and he's using one of the purple pens I gave him to populate the words.

I am so in love it's now insane.

So, we took a long walk in Forest Hills. Joked about real estate and how I'd afford a home here, for us. He got a cortado at Pink Forest. We held hands almost the entire day unless we were pointing at things.

We went to Cucina around the corner from Mr. Vino (same owner) and salivated over stupidly beautiful olives, the selection of cheeses, the interesting beers (him, not me) and the sheer magnitude of the selections. I was like, Hey, R, see how great FH is?

Then we had more food. I did better. Salmon, Brussels sprouts and orzo.

I'm, um. I think I am in love. This might hurt someday which I must prepare myself for.

But I don't think he is going to hurt me. I don't know. But I hope not.