Walls

It feels like I'm using up pockets of courage to get to the point where I want to be. I mean, we're so busy right now, packing, contemplating Europe, preparing for a new adventure or series thereof in life. This morning, I sat myself down and opened up a newly purchased Photoshop book (targeted toward the digital photographer) and began to read, starting at page 1. I've already learned more in 2 short hours than I feel I've learned (as a new trade goes, is what I mean) in years. Great, right? Also scary. The more information I stockpile, the more instances I'm going to want to apply it. Europe is a photographic adventure for me. I haven't budged from that perspective since we launched this trip. We've both paid just about $1,500 to cover airfare, lodging, Paris museum passes and train rides. We are a couple of hundred away from being debt-free, so that when we travel there, all of our money is spending cash. I'm proud of us.*Meanwhile, tomorrow Craig reports to the Brooklyn office, for pseudo-permanence. I feel a combination of emotions - anticipatory of the new project, scared to be alone in another company's corporate environment, relieved to continue to now-minuscule commute to and from work, panicked that my role on the new job won't be endurable. But! Life is just so quick and small. So instead of worrying about any minute thing, I'm going to sail through the days like they are serenity, floating on the surface of serenity. Calm waters. No breeze. Just sunshine. I'm blessed. I'm sitting in this near-packed living room with a fall temperature drifting in from the window off-and-on gazing at the art of our lone brick wall in this apartment, where our tagging photo hangs, matching splendidly with the gradients of the deep, subtle and weathered reds. I'm about to launch into a Sunday with Craig, wherein we eat bagels, drink coffees and celebrate being here. Praise to our Upper East Side neighborhood, where we've experienced the highs and lows of urban life. But bigger praise to our new destination, because it's time for change. It's time to renew.*