March 20, 2009

RAWs

It's been next to impossible (basically, exactly impossible) to have any kind of life outside of work these days. While I am blessed to be employed, and I get that, it's still frustrating. I don't remember the last time I phoned my mom, or had thoughts that didn't travel right back to The Job. But there have been moments, precious moments, and for those, I am grateful. For instance last Friday, Craig headed with some co-workers to Madison Square Garden for college basketball. I swung by a sushi place and indulged in spicy tuna roll and one of that particular restaurant's special rolls, Sauv Blanc, and too much iPhone time (but that's fun!) and enjoyed being alone for a handful of hours. I needed it. Then Saturday after work we enjoyed Zane Patrick's Day (a "holiday" celebration thrown by our favorite drinking show host Zane Lamprey) at the Knitting Factory. We had so much fun. See other blog for photo details! The place was jam packed (something like 600 people attended), and spilled beer made the floor sticky, and it was wall-to-wall elbowing to get around the 3-story venue, and there was only 1 bathroom for women and 1 for men in the whole place (drinking Guiness and needing to use the bathroom with lines of 30-40 people do not mix!) but somehow, I felt so happy that whole day. Oh, and all of that was after we waited in line for nearly an hour to get into the party! Anyway, if I had more energy I'd offer more detail. Hopefully my photos do the talking. Anyway, since then, we've just worked a lot. I'm tired. I watch some TV here and there (and fall asleep during), I've tried desperately to cook and not wish miserably later that I hadn't tried to cook (I love to cook and how tired I am is squashing my favorite hobbies), I've attempted to come up with poems but somehow, my head isn't aimed at language right now, nor is it aimed at taking care of myself, considering the "diet" we had been so smart at has become such a thing of the past. But I will dote on myself for one thing: my love and passion for real music hasn't departed me. Recently when we saw Kristin perform with both 50 Foot Wave and Throwing Muses, I was reminded how very little everything else seems when a song I love plays, or when I see an artist perform that I think is just other-worldly. A friend of mine loaned me an artist. I listened tonight, but was a little bit confused by the noise that entered my head. I explained this to him over email, and he understood, and promised me different versions of this guy's stuff, which I will fully embrace and accept and hear with an open mind. Somehow I'm always slammed back into Neutral Milk Hotel, whether the association is simply gender or something deeper, so tonight I thought of NMH and about how blown away I was when my then-friend (in college) showed me NMH. I remember every single moment that that guy and I spent listening to music together, particularly NMH. And how the lyrics made me cry so much. How I felt connected, and close, without having any idea what the band's head guy had to say, and why was he confusing me with such beautiful music and lyrics? Why did it make me feel like I was being lifted above everything else, and that I was invincible? And it still makes me feel like that? I suppose I just consider music to be a catalyst. It should heighten emotion, it should fit a moment. It should make a person feel something that they would otherwise not feel, good or bad. I will say that I have seriously never met anyone who has met me all the way with music. I think that that happens and it's okay. We are all attracted to different sounds. But I would give anything to find people with which to share the moments of music that leave me breathless, emotionally still, or frenetic, or just plain confused.*The friend of mine who shared an artist with me attended my Kristin shows with me, Craig, and another couple. And I could feel the thrill that everyone felt, just being so close to Kristin and her infecting presence. But how do I define my musical tastes to anyone? It's such a spectrum. If you meet me in one room and ask me what I couldn't live without, I'd say Kristin. If you meet me in a different room, I might say I can't fathom life without Neutral Milk Hotel. In several other rooms, I might say REM, or the Cure, or Bob Dylan, or Joni Mitchell. I might add that my friend Jeff introduced me to Niko Case, Regina Spektor and Of Montreal...oh, and Low. And Andrew Bird. But back to this Neutral Milk Hotel thing. I'm aching, listening to this. And I keep listening.
Here. Without infringing on copyright laws, I just want to include some of the NMH lyrics that push me against a wall and force me to believe that there are emotional geniuses out there who have said what they wanted to say, and making me wish that I could:

"I am listening to hear where you are"...(this line is sung with indescribable panic, I love it.)
"Catching signals that sound in the dark..."
"Catching signals that sound
in the dark we will take off our clothes and they'll be placing fingers through the notches in your spine"

(This is from Two-Headed Boy.)

"Through the music he sweetly displays..."

"Make for his lover who's floating and choking with her hands across her face"

"The world that you need is wrapped in gold silver sleeves left beneath Christmas trees in the snow..."

"and I will take you and leave you alone."

And I'm doing it no justice. Seriously.
And what I love is that this guy has just disappeared. After his band put out the album that I'm addicted to, he couldn't take the publicity, simply couldn't take it, thus disappeared.

And the lyrics I listed above aren't even the pinnacle of what Jeff Magnum wrote. But I just wish I could bare my soul like that. That real. That raw.

Anyway, listening to music is never a thing I take for granted. I'm lucky to have been exposed to music that thrills me to the core. And so are others who feel the same. Music might be just the best escape from real life, while summoning real life issues, all at the same time. Long live listening to music.

I'm too tired to discuss RAW files and Light Room. I will master that program soon. Just not tonight!

0 Comments:

<< Home