Reconnections

...see what Google did there? Go Pride...I'm very proud.

Tonight was a pivotal, if not an absolutely impacting and square on intersection with / me and G.

I had invited myself to meet him at his offices (if that would be feasible for him) and he amicably agreed, and so I left my office early today (go 4th of July Holiday hours!) and subwayed myself to his location in Chelsea.

I felt so tired, and so beat down from the week. And I knew we were meeting to go further meet with Denise and to possibly hang out a bit afterward.

Not one moment of my night could have gone any better than it did.

I made my way to Google, which always provides me with internal smiles because G just barely seems like a Google guy yet he so does (it's a duality of his personality that I admire) and he met me in the lobby at 9th and 15th, and I had to do the obligatory ID hand off followed by the secure sign-in that would extra-verify that I was an approved Google Office Visitor. We got up to his floor, where his work space is, and he basically quietly dropped me off at a seating space in order that he could go back to work. Fine by me - I explored Google's newly designed digs (new floor) like a quiet banshee...I found the "nap loft," laid in it, looked around at ceiling details (construction weirdo) and raided the lounge nearby for Aloe Vera water and cheese sticks. I drooped around quietly like a non-Google entity inspired by the greatness surrounding me.

Then he came and found me, at some point, and we took a cab to see Denise.

*Our sessions with Denise do not qualify to be written here. Too confidential.*

Afterward, as we entered into one of the many odd hallways to get us out of the building, he touched my arm.

His eyes, and his touch, send electricity through me, like probing pinpoints of surge, like lightning bolts. I assert that that may never change.

We sat together on a chair, his legs close to kissing mine, and mused quietly over what we had just discussed. A few people came and went in and out of the elevator bay, and we silenced ourselves when strangers were in our presence, but it never went underestimated by my legs that his were fastened closely to them.

We talked. We headed down the elevator shaft to the lobby. We stood outside and discussed an extension of what we had discussed upstairs with Denise. He tossed me those eyes that make me want to shiver and curl up in a warm blanket. The copper ones of which I always speak.

And then, it was decided, he requested, that I have dinner with him.

It's very difficult for me to go on from here.

I can say we did hold hands, at several points. I re-fell in love with him, not as though I ever fell "out," but his eyes, mind, brain, lips, words: G, you.

Out of nowhere when we were talking, he mentioned this thing called a Sensory Deprivation Tank. He wants me to do it with him. It involves floating naked and solo in a tank filled with body temperature water and so much salt that you just float...and it desensitizes all of your...senses.

So we texted later on, after we parted ways in Union Square (again, grabbing hands and holding for a while...these are milestones) and it sounds as though we may be doing this next Friday.

Um.

I can only say.

Sitting across from him.

Whether it's in therapy with Denise, or just us over veggie burgers and cheese fries and so many dipping sauces that he delivered to our little table, or sharing milkshakes (I love how I can hold mine to his lips and he partakes)...this is me, madly in love. I can't believe how much hard work it takes to let this love free-flow into the world.