Bunkers

It's Tuesday but it doesn't feel like Tuesday but it doesn't feel like Monday or Wednesday so I'm not entirely sure I know what day it feels like. I do know I'm feeling quiet and at abnormal peace with things today despite feeling like life's realities are dunking me under and I'm running out of breath. I'm scared and hoping for recovery from the typical life stuff that can tend to beat us up over time. But I'm not here to cry over it. I'm listening to Neutral Milk Hotel radio (station I created) on Pandora in a quiet apartment (no Johnny just yet tonight) and am reflecting over the emails the boy and I exchanged today. Of course. :)

The communication lines were wide open today - to the point that he reflected on some recent occurrence with his ex-girlfriend, with whom he had hoped he could stay friends, that didn't work out, but a recent occurrence (email) prompted them to meet for coffee last week. See here is why I proceed with caution...these types of baggage items that hang in the balance. But who am I to speak - my luggage weighs just over ten years!

But he was extremely frank and offered that perhaps it was awkward that he was telling me this? And I of course like, no no no...and in fact replied:

I think we've managed to be fairly forthright and honest about just about everything since we met, yes? That's positive. And refreshing - seriously.

Which I believe so far in its entirety. Anyway, he went on to explain to me that their platonic conversation went well but that she fell of the face of the earth again a day or so after they met up. And now he feels like he has to bury her again. And he's disappointed but he also called her volatile so I suppose something in her current situation is causing her to be such.

Then there was this:

I don't know how late you're working tonight; I assume for a while. If you wanted to catch up for a moment at all around Union Square soon, I'd be glad to. But no expectations and it's all good either way.


Him, to me. While 99% of me and some change wanted nothing more in the world to do so, I felt as though I should come home and be quiet and write for a while, listen to music, be alone. But I did offer to drift about with him after the Lit Crawl Volunteers meeting at Solas tomorrow. He's not feeling overly social and would rather duck out of the meeting but asked me if I'd like to "meet independently" following the Lit Crawl meeting to which I said yes, of course. 


And I said to him this:


Think nice thoughts. Like about how you'll be making room in your walk-in cooler for seltzer water on your island.


Which is a very funny conversation we had while he lay on his couch with his head in my lap looking up at me, completely rearranging my entire idea of "one thing on a desert island" (that particular conversation being about cheese and for some reason he decided it'd be okay if he also got to have seltzer water with his cheese...I explained that that was being greedy. Ha.) And on and on. Whatever we talk about, whether over email or in person, puts a fairly major smile in the cavity of my chest, which has needed that major smile for a long time now.

Enough on this front for the moment. Above pictured is overhead framing and stud wall framing for the Bunker Suites. These spaces have me so strung out. See how that overhead framing is all jagged and weird? Each Suite is shaped like a unique puzzle piece, different from one another. I have glass partitions that get installed in these locations. Oh boy. Could definitely prove to be a construction nightmare.