October 05, 2005

Ghosts



It hit me the other day that I'm extremely blessed that I'm not in love with a writer. Honestly, it relieves me that I got over that fantasy in college and came into the truth in my mid-most twenties: words hurt. I have read about me before. Not the good me...the ugly underbelly, the tear streaked face. I don't want to know that girl any better than I already know her by being her--why would I want to read a cryptic piece of fiction/a poem that tells what an emotional nightmare it is to know me, or worse, to love me, when I can instead figuratively and dutifully nod at myself in the mirror and excuse last night's behavior for a new morning? Why do I want to read what a mess I am when I already know? This thought developed, honestly, before I found out (just last night, to be specific) that an old ghost lives in Atlanta. It isn't likely I will bump into this person at any point, and that's a positive. I don't need a run-in to complicate any matters that are not presently complicated. I am happy again, seriously happy, fond of my Craig, elated to have my new friend AB to confide in along with all the other people in my life that I love. No unsolicited reunions for me, thank you!*Before I go on, I need to describe, in brief, a dream I had while passed out at the Spring Hill Marriot in Carmel, IN last weekend. AB and I were at a wedding, the setting was a pool deck, and for some reason a gentleman kept sipping white wine and spitting it involuntarily. Like, he would sip, someone would make a comment, apparently comical, and he'd spit the wine straight from his mouth. AB and I delighted in this, and as a wait person swung past to fill AB's mostly empty Merlot, she flung the glass to the pool deck, shattering it to pieces. This was funny somehow-- I recall waking up laughing, and I bet AB will find it amusing that she could only appear in a dream with me where comedy is the genre!*I've been out of the blog spot for a few days longer than anticipated because of work, and being sick. My voice has been feeble at best, and last night I kept coughing all over Craig (sorry babe!) I'm in the throes of recovery, which feels better, like a gradual ascent from a dark place. I definitely had a fever last week, which always amazes me (fevers do) based on their ability to generate both heat rushes and cold chills combined. I become overly obsessed with fever and spend hours with a thermometer shoved in my mouth. I think in fact before Craig came home from work last Thursday I had potentially checked my temperature 6 to 8 times. As if I could get the heat to cool in the lone hour I spent doing this. Anyway, we suited up Friday morning for our adventure to Indianapolis. The plane ride was quick, after a brief fuming tantrum thrown by Craig in line at Hartsfield for security check (it took longer than usual, possibly because we were behind a string of Russian visitors who didn't seem to understand phrases such as "you cannot bring Zippos on the plane" and "please remove your belt and place it in the bin before stepping through [the X-ray device].") Once in Indy, we waited for Craig's parents to pick us up to go to the hotel. Skipping to better parts for the sake of transition through this story, we made it to the rehearsal at the church a few minutes late, which remained a theme throughout the weekend (running late). I helped Craig's brother-in-law with the girls, L and H, H being the sweetest little 3 y.o. girl I have met to date. She wondered of me ever-so-innocently, "Where are YOU getting married?" which prompted the bro-in-law to reply to her, "That's a good question for you to ask Craig!" making me laugh as well. I told Craig about it later, of course! Following the rehearsal, we drove to Bucca de Beppo in Castleton for the dinner. KB and BB were adorable, excited, energetic...their rehearsal dinner was a pleasure. Far too much food for any of us to handle! And wine, and gifts for the groomsmen: Fossil watches, heavy, nice! (Craig needed a new watch, actually!) and gifts for the bridesmaids: Pottery Barn jewelry boxes with bracelets inside. Very impressive for them to have gone to that length, but surely they wanted to express their appreciation. Following the dinner, Craig wanted us to be dropped off at a bar down the street to meet his friends (we did not rent a car for the weekend, rather relied on family transportation). That was a lot of fun, with the exception of the brief incident where a woman that I did not recognize as one of his friend's wives swept upon Craig to greet him, whereupon Craig turned to me and said, of her, "Look who's here!" I looked blankly at D and back to Craig and said, "Who is this?" Craig was mortified but D got over it really quickly when I admitted that having only met her at her wedding in June, with her hair pulled back and in a white gown, it was difficult to recognize her in street clothes with hair down (compounded by red wine at dinner and one beer at the bar before she approached the table to say hello.) Then, of course, I wound up befriending her and liking her tons. She's an awesome girl. I made one other small mistake with the girls, which was gushing about Craig's slumber party statement. I don't exactly remember how it happened, but one of the girls said "Aww" to Craig or something, and he was like, "KB, that was only for us to know about!" But he was good-natured about it nonetheless.*Saturday we woke up and went downstairs for the Continental buffet breakfast, spoke with Craig's dad at length, returned to the room, showered, changed, and left for the ceremony. Here we were reunited with a welcome old ghost: the photographer for KB's wedding who also has served as photographer for Craig's company's annual meetings (my ex-company). So we knew him already! That was very small worldish. The ceremony proceeded without a hitch--KB looked gorgeous, and BB dressed up alright himself, as did the other boys, and all the girls looked lovely. I spent an unfortunate amount of time (preventing me from paying as close attention to the ceremony part) tending again to H, who was, needless to say, a little restless, extracting dangerous items from my purse such as lipstick and clear mascara, receiving menacing looks from her dad who watched on, etc. The ceremony was Catholic but no mass, therefore abbreviated. And nice. Everyone glowed. Following that, the reception was held across the street from the Spring Hill Marriot at the Ritz Charles, in a dimly lit banquet room with delicate table settings and a dj stand plus dance floor against one wall. Instead of a long head table, KB and BB assigned seats around the room, granting those in the wedding party the opportunity to sit with their guests, which I found to be really excellent. It can go either way, but it's a relief sometimes to be able to sit with the person who brought you--in my case, I would be much more comfortable sitting with any of Craig's family now than I were, say, 4 years ago, so it wouldn't have been an issue, however it was very nice to sit with him for dinner. We sat with his cousins, all of whom it was great to see again. Dinner was good, dancing even better! Craig and I love dancing at weddings, regardless of how foolish we may appear to others...we think we've got rhythm, that's what counts! Craig requested Miss Jackson, which might be his new thing at weddings (he requested it at ST's, also!) The whole night was a great time. After the reception Craig's two cousins, one of the wives and I decided we needed to pick up beer and host an "after hours" event in one of the rooms at the hotel. That bombed, because the only guy that showed up wound up excusing himself to "drop off his jacket" when in fact it was shortly discovered that he must have had A Little Too Much to Drink at the reception, or at least the Throw Up Spots stringing along the hotel hallway suggested such! Yuck! Anyway, Sunday Craig and I were able to have lunch with my parents, brother and nephew. That was really nice...my parents and bro were great, my nephew adorable. And my roast beef and brie sandwich with baby spinach and horse radish kicked ass! Traveling back home for the last time for a while, we hope!, settling back into the apartment, and me getting over this suspicious bug have been the latest tasks. And cheering on the Cardinals (and the White Sox) as they freshly entered post-season play yesterday is of utmost priority! Last night Chi-Sox beat Bo-Sox 14-2! We'll hope for more of the same this eve.

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