Epiphanies

Before I begin this post, I want to clarify that I am not wholly emotionally equipped to handle loss of human life. I'm obviously not alone in my inability to confront the issue, but I am so fortunate to date, thus far, that my and Craig's immediate families and much of extended remain alive and well and we have each other, as well. I've yet to lose a friend to death and I realize time will come someday where I must face this coping issue (or lack thereof) that I tend to have, but for now, I thank my good fortune for everyone that continues to be in my life. So, of course this is my lead in for the whole tragedy of yesterday, the untimely and surprising death of young young actor Heath Ledger. I found out about it moments before I left work, and maybe this hit a little bit closer to home for me because, well, he was found dead in his SoHo apartment, a handful of subway stops away from where we live, and right on a very street where we've walked countless times on a lazy Saturday or Sunday or even on a week night in search of a place to eat. Craig thinks maybe I'm even more overwhelmed because Heath wasn't living in a far off place like LA, rather he was right here in our town. I consider other factors to play a role in my uneasiness, such as his age (28) or the fact that he was only one of an elite group of actually talented rising male stars (his shining performance in Brokeback Mountain even aside), or the fact that he left behind a recently-split relationship with the young mother of his only child, or the fact that his family is from Australia and undoubtedly is remorseful for the time they never got to have with him after his rise to American stardom. Throw into it the fact that he has commented in recent interviews how disturbing it was to play the Joker in the unreleased Batman movie (looking dark in a sinister fashion as in that of the previous Christian Bale Batman flick), or how he couldn't sleep and even prescription sleeping pills weren't aiding sleep. We go through life doing all of this stuff, this work, panicking, worrying, eating poorly during times of mad stress, lashing out at loved ones, feeling generally unwell and obviously these things yield a result. For him, it was this. He has never been a big target of the press - he's been one of those low key guys that shows up in a film and is a delightful surprise. He's never been on the in-and-out-of-rehab list, or the arrested-for-being-a-generally-stupid-rich-celebrity list. Hollywood is stunned right now, rightfully so. And so an unfortunate thing like this makes you stop to think. Plus, I considered him an artist more than others in his industry (it takes a different kind than the manufactured variety we so often see) (borrowing the word "manufactured" from one of his interviews from a few years back, that being something he didn't want to be), and this is such a tragic event for people sharing the stage in his industry. I can't boast to be his biggest fan, but I do feel sad for the loss - for people my age, for people who loved him and knew him to be a good soul.

With that, I transition to cooking, because it continues to be the highlight of my work weeks and resolves my woes. Monday night I was feeling particularly curious as to what I could find in the way of low Weight Watchers points, yet totally filling and mostly healthy. I arrived at a Mushroom Lasagna recipe which received 5 stars from reviewers on Cooking Light's site. Craig and I are both pretty big fans of mushrooms, I believe. It's been an evolving love that we share since we joined forces and started eating together regularly back when. I don't know if either of us cared much for them before. Nevertheless, the lasagna also features a layer of spinach, milk, flour, parmesan cheese and oregano, along with a layer of the delicious blend of cremini and button mushrooms, parsely, garlic and leek as posted above. The end result was terrific (with a layer of parm ontop and melted fontina) and rang in at a low total of 5 points for one large slice! It's amazing how one can cut points by omitting meat! Then last night I swung by Food Emporium at 86th and 2nd and grabbed a variety of vegetables: red pepper, green pepper, carrot, onion, portobella mushrooms - and simmered a garden bolognese sauce, using fat-free marinara. For some reason, this came out tasting primarily too spicy (which we typically love) with an undertone of Too Much Celery (I forgot to note on my list of acquired vegs.) I served it ontop of whole wheat bowties (cute) with fresh shredded Romano cheese (wonderful flavor but a harder cheese so better for us) but the whole thing was less than desirable, really. And now I've got a fridge full of single servings of this dish and really I'm uncertain that we'll want leftovers of this at work - but alas, we might be stuck with it Friday. Tomorrow night is Sharon's poetry book release in the Lower East Side and we're dining at a fun looking Indian place that she recommended nearby beforehand. I'm excited for Craig to meet Sharon. I've spent a year with her and they've never met! She's terrific.*Tonight is my attempt at a homemade pesto made with milk-soaked white bread, basil leaves, walnuts, Romano, olive oil and garlic. It's going to be an interesting concoction. The pesto will be tossed with whole wheat penne. I'm serving it with steamed cauliflower - for some reason, that just seems right. And see, to post about food has already lifted my spirits. I've come to the raw conclusion that cooking soothes my soul. It's just a shot as to whether the eating of it will match!*This weekend, we're off to Paul and Karen's wedding in Cinci. It will be nice to step foot on Midwest soil. We've never been to Cinci together, so we're conquering another town. Did I mention Craig is taking me to Burlington, Vermont for my 31st this year? He has been researching it like crazy and is so thrilled to go. Alison and Scott have been twice recently and love it there. So we're excited. That's something to look forward to about turning 31! And aside, I think 31 is a very attractive age. It's like the gateway into adulthood. Or something like that.*